Camellia Jahanshahi — Portrait or Landscape?

That's what you are.
With nothing but a 'hello' words flow from my lips and my finger tips like a cucumber vine takes over a garden- in a lost instant.
My heart stops as it bursts with fresh poppies and my veins throb as golden rod springs from them dusting my insides bright with inspiration.
Moss grows over my toes as I watch you- study you with patience and wonder.
Slowly I am turning into Tennyson's garden. Slowly I am falling like an ancient statue over grown with you--
and all around me honey drips at half speed in the thick summer heat and bees weep for their once great and now lost queen. 

Lay me down to rest
spread my limbs out like a star,
naked and rotting
in the middle of a clover field full of good luck.
Push my body into the sea
Let it collect sand and dirt in all my folds, rolls, and crevices
as you drag it,
I am at peace with my body
done with this earth
I do not waste and I do not want.
Free and powerful at last.
Set it all ablaze, and burn with me.
Then, when the last ember turns to ash
scoop me up and place me back where you found me
alone, buried under moss covered stones.
Then, find your home too.

How can so many people see you and just walk by-
eyes glazed in apathy.
I only feel alive when I'm with you--
soft glow
dust yellow
light grey.
You are always beautiful to me.
In every phase of your existence I love you
In every repeated wax and wane I love you
You pull me towards you with an open heart and a full spirit so that when I don't see you, I crave you
Each morning and each rebirth
I need you
my guide
my strength
my lover
my moon. 

I have a crush on this land.
Screw the people— I want to finger fuck every flower I see.
I want to take a nap in the dips of the blue mountain ranges--
I want to dance with the swaying grass of the plains--
to play hide and seek with the lightening and throw a tantrum with the thunder!
I want to strip for the sky and present myself naked to the moon— I have a crush on this land.
I want to bury myself neck deep in the red clay and recreate myself through dust--
I want to bleed myself dry into the crashing rivers as an act of sacrificial love--
I want to lay my bones down for the ancient trees and release my souls to the winds--
I want to love loudly, and die quietly here.
Forever changing, forever strange
I have a crush on this land. 

I find stillness in this ache;
the trees are creaking,
and my bones are restless.
Spreading out against you, I see centipedes crawling over my skin while I sink into the moss and mud below.
I am loving you.
This is a holy union, a divine experience, to sink into the depths and be devoured by the creatures that inhabit you--
blood suckers, skin stealers, creators.
As I sink down the bones of ancient lovers regain flesh and remake themselves inside of me
so that when I finally stand I am renewed with devotion.
The heart is where what we know in our minds and what we know in our bones consolidates.


Camellia Jahanshahi is a traveling multi-media artist. Inspired by magic, science, love, and nature, she spends her time breathing deep to find the places they all meet within her.